Struggling

Today has not been good. All night and all day, the wind has gusted remorselessly. Strangely, it's sunny and warm - the wind is from the east. I don't know why that is, but its effect is all too obvious: destruction of what's there, prevention of what's planned, and a darkening of my mood. I've not been in the best humour for some time now, not entirely sure why (nor is this the place to go into it), but the wind is the worst weather for it. I would rather anything but this - it's threatening to continue the destruction of the old greenhouse, blasts sand and cement (both of which I'm using a lot of right now) into my eyes, and worst of all, has done a lot of cosmetic damage to the outdoor tomatoes.

That is, the plants that live outside in the day. There isn't anywhere light enough indoors, but I've had to bring them in early in order to protect them. Too late: they are wilting, and many have dead leaf tips. I had wanted to sell some, but I can't now. It's not devastating, as they will survive and recover, but it is galling - to see plants you've raised from seed, tended diligently, watered, fed, repotted, and moved back and forth to give them the best conditions. I want to scream, swear, and thrash about - not because of this specifically, but a lot of little things (a deeply painful back, thanks to much heavy lifting, a sense of being utterly alone against the elements, the general wearing-down of life, that I've discussed before) have conspired. I'd love a relaxing evening, but my sister is coming - she texted me the day before yesterday, totally out of the blue. I haven't even spoken to her in a couple of months, so it'll be good to catch up, but she's very fussy and I'm not in the mood.

However, the new greenhouse stands unmoved by the weather so far, partially glazed, with a new, level, solid paved floor, and the first tomato plant (the 'Jaune Flammée' that first got flower buds) is in its half-growbag, in the corner, and looks very healthy. So long as there are no cold nights before I get the job finished (still a half week away), it should be fine. That's something, at least.